the pain

hi there!

3 years ago, i was in a hard situation. everyone around me keep pushing me to the state where i knew how much they forced me, i still wouldnt listen to them. i was alone back then. i have no one to talk to. i just need someone who gonna trust me, understand my situation, comfort me when i breathing hardly. 


after he left me with broken heart, i still remember how hard i cried while sitting on the chair, with this soft hand keep pushing and hitting my chest until i had to lay on the floor, hoping the pain will reduce with the unstoppable hits. i still remember i talked to my bffs and people like everyday hoping i can lessen the pain unfortunately it still there. i still remember the pain in my chest everytimes i woke up from my sleep everyday. until the point where i barely go to sleep because i knew i will faced the pain as soon as i wake up. i still remember how hard i begging to him like crazy but he just left with silences and emotionless face. i still remember all those pain.

after 3 years, all i can say now is i am so proud of myself. i can survive that hard situation. after he left me with broken heart, i finally decided to built a strong and barrier in me. i wouldnt let anyone easily break my heart again. i am not fragile like other girls. i will not let myself crying hard like crazy just like before again. i will not let myself experience that kind of pain again. i did every single thing to move on even a small movement. i kept myself busy with things i loves. i will not let negatives keep haunting an dominating my mind because i knew, i myself is the only person who can control myself. i am stronger than before. 


i am so much blessing with the good people around me. the one who always be there, through my ups and downs. i just learnt from my own experiences and i will not let it happen twice. i am wiser.

What makes you stronger?

Hi there!

Been reading to a such beautiful articles from the google. Currently im facing alot of challenges which testing my imaan, Allahu. It hurts me alot. But Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me another chance to realized how gratefull i am. HE makes me strong and gave peacefull in my heart which i feels so blessed. Alhamdulillah!

"DIA membuatkan and menunggu kerana semakin lama anda menunggu, semakin anda menghargai apa yang anda perolehi.DIA tidak ingin anda menjadi orang yang tidak bersyukur, DIA ingin anda lebih menghargai nilai sesuatu yang dihantarkan kepada kamu. DIA ingin memberikan anda sesuatu yang bernilai bila anda betul betul Bersedia untuk menjaganya"

Such an inspirational word to me! People keep asking and question why all these happen to them? why now? How could this happen to them? When ever since they did wrong?
Hey dude. Its life.
Instead looking to your problem as a big obstacle to live your life, why dont you make it as a solid reasons to built your own personality? Be a better version of yourself. People can judge you, but they dont know the real you! Prove that they are totally wrong. Well at least you realized your own mistakes and improve it. Make a step ahead and leave your dark side behind. There are so much good things ahead. You just dont see it yet.

Afraid of rejection?
Your life is not to impress others. If they are talking about you behind you, let them be. Just ignore them. They doesnt give you money to live anyway :p
Come on. Look around you. There are plenty of supportive people will helps and be with you through your ups and downs. Especially your family and your friends. Make them as a strong reason to make you stronger, day by day.

Allah says,'I will not give you burdens which you cant handle'
See?You will see the hikmah after that. There are always have something good to every difficullities and you will gain something from that.

Be strong, be better, be extraordinary!

the empty room

do you ever feels like something is fading but you do not know what it is?

do you ever feels like something is changing but you not sure about it?

do you ever feels like you life is crashing down but you not sure the reason why?

do you ever feels like something is making you sad and it hurts inside but you have to be strong and pretend like nothing happen?

do you ever feels like that?

i had to go through situation like this before during my secondary school. i was in boarding school during my form 4 and form 5. being alone without your friend to comfort and give you advises is very challenging. you have to go through your day and do everything by your own because you just do not have someone to put your trust and share your happiness and sadness to.

people says, losing friends is part of maturity process. yep, that is really true. i lost my best friend because of some misunderstanding. technically because we are far apart and rarely keep in touch each other. i tried to reach her or if we bump into each other, i try to say hi and ask about her life but her reaction is so disappointing me. she tried to keep distance and not talk to me even when i'm trying to. sometimes she gives me 'that peliks looks' when im trying to talk to her. hello? your best friend is trying to get rid you from their life. siapa tak sedih?

and now after 5 years pass, i saw her with her friends (of coz lah dia ada kawan lain kan haha). i'm happy because at least i know she is doing fine and happy. but a minute later, i just remember that we used to be a great best friend back then. 

since my mom is very supportive and understanding person, i used to tell her about every single things happens in my life, even the stupid things. and of cause about my friends too. even till now, i always ask my mom about her (best friend), what she doing, her studies and her families. (my mom is her mother's friend too hehe)

i do not put the blame on her. she may have a reasons of doing this. the reasons might be me. i may did wrong and not realize it. i'm just hoping that one day we will be a good friend again, dude.

and now, that feeling of losing people...

it is hurt. 

and i have to go through the same thing, again.

That Struggle Tho

assalammualaikum =)

hi there! been missing my old blogger account. had one before but then i delete it for some reasons. after a couple of years, i would like to do some sharing sessions with you guys hee. 

i was busy back then right after i delete my old blogger account. yeah since i decided to futher my studies to diploma level in Civil Engineering course. and yess its a really tough course dude! i struggle and put a lot of efforts especially during tests and project assignments for 3 years. kadang kadang ada 3 tests dalam masa satu hari. can you imagine that? huh

some people would just says 'eleh diploma je'. sorry guys, you dont know how struggle we are to achieve our target and pointer. honestly, it is not that easy. try put yourself in someone else's shoes.

when the things getting harder, take a deep breath and think rationally and have a little faith. it would not happen without a reason. Allah never put us in hard situation which we cannot handle. calm down yourself and start find the right ways to solve your problems. the best way to solve is always without membelakangkan ibu bapa dan of course HIM. may HE will always bless in whatever you do. 

my teacher once before told me ..

''kalau awak rasa hidup awak susah, sebenarnya ada orang lain yang lagi susah,

kalau awak rasa awak ni paling pandai, sebenarnya ada orang lain lagi pandai dari awak,

kalau awas rasa awak ni bernasib malang, sebenarnya ada orang lain yang lagi malang hidup melarat tidak tenang tidak tenteram,

jadi, kita kena sendiri merendah diri dan bersyukur atas apa yang kita ada. sentiasa ucap Alhamdulillah untuk apa yang kita ada''

well said Cikgu Nordin ;)