the empty room

do you ever feels like something is fading but you do not know what it is?

do you ever feels like something is changing but you not sure about it?

do you ever feels like you life is crashing down but you not sure the reason why?

do you ever feels like something is making you sad and it hurts inside but you have to be strong and pretend like nothing happen?

do you ever feels like that?

i had to go through situation like this before during my secondary school. i was in boarding school during my form 4 and form 5. being alone without your friend to comfort and give you advises is very challenging. you have to go through your day and do everything by your own because you just do not have someone to put your trust and share your happiness and sadness to.

people says, losing friends is part of maturity process. yep, that is really true. i lost my best friend because of some misunderstanding. technically because we are far apart and rarely keep in touch each other. i tried to reach her or if we bump into each other, i try to say hi and ask about her life but her reaction is so disappointing me. she tried to keep distance and not talk to me even when i'm trying to. sometimes she gives me 'that peliks looks' when im trying to talk to her. hello? your best friend is trying to get rid you from their life. siapa tak sedih?

and now after 5 years pass, i saw her with her friends (of coz lah dia ada kawan lain kan haha). i'm happy because at least i know she is doing fine and happy. but a minute later, i just remember that we used to be a great best friend back then. 

since my mom is very supportive and understanding person, i used to tell her about every single things happens in my life, even the stupid things. and of cause about my friends too. even till now, i always ask my mom about her (best friend), what she doing, her studies and her families. (my mom is her mother's friend too hehe)

i do not put the blame on her. she may have a reasons of doing this. the reasons might be me. i may did wrong and not realize it. i'm just hoping that one day we will be a good friend again, dude.

and now, that feeling of losing people...

it is hurt. 

and i have to go through the same thing, again.